35+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (November 2, 2024)

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 2, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

To post cringe is to love thyself. Or so it is inscribed in the laws of the internet that we must abide by. Cringe is truth. Cringe is earnest. Cringe might be the only thing we have left. Being cringy online is like when a fish is wet. That's what you do. It's nearly impossible to not be cringe online, especially on Twitter, because inherently, you're writing something down because you think it's funny/interesting/worthy/thought-provoking in some way. And there's something intrinsically cringe about trying. It is by no means a bad thing. The world is built on cringe, and we wouldn't have any art without it. 

These posts are prime examples of good cringe. They make us laugh, they make us think, they make us want to share them with our friends. But they also come from a place of earnestness and cringe. And we wouldn't have it any other way. 

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  • 01
    Anne Chovy @AnneChovy2 just learned about recency bias and its my favorite thing ever 6:57 PM 10/25/24 3.3M Views • 288 1 11K 146K 6.7K
    via @AnneChovy2
  • 02
    Doth @DothTheDoth I love women because they are either thinking about skincare or death 9:46 AM 2/21/24 3.8M Views 268 17 19K 80K ☐ 3.2K ↑
    via @DothTheDoth
  • 03
    Ryanair → @Ryanair you must be new here Zara @ZaraBagel . 1d @Ryanair I paid for a window seat
    via @Ryanair
  • 04
    bailey moon @Baileymoon15 andrew garfield looks like he bit people FUMCRAVE Film Crave @_filmcrave 1d Baby Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield photos shared on 'CELEBRITY SUBSTITUTE'. 6:09 PM 10/22/24 5.8M Views 303 1 7.2K 212K ☐ 2.9K 企
    via @Baileymoon15
  • 05
    Circe @vocalcry Every time I'm sore after Pilates I remember it's what killed Jesus • 8:25 AM 10/20/24 930K Views 100 2.9K 31K ☐ 1.4K 企
    via @vocalcry
  • 06
    MrsBundrige ❤ @MrsBundrige No tf it won't! Southland Post @SouthlandPost⚫2d The new Tesla Robot will watch you sleep overnight and monitor your breathing, heart rate, sleep patterns, and it will also protect you from any home Invasions.
    via @MrsBundrige
  • 07
    Timothy Imholt ❤ @TimothyImholt Never tell your electrical engineer parent you want to be a transformer for Halloween. 7:15 AM 10/23/24 2.9M Views 240 2 25
    via @TimothyImholt
  • 08
    hegelian vs predator @reachrachelkahn i realized the other day millennials use lol the same way operators would use stop in morse code and now i can't unsee it 2:42 AM 10/20/24 644K Views 113 2.1K 24K 1.1K 企
    via @reachrachelkahn
  • 09
    Jack Oates @JackWOates Best suggestion I've seen on the NHS Ideas site so far Invade France to take their medical equipment From "Your ideas for change" Go to the project France has medical equipment we need. We should seize it under the UN charter Article One. 11:34 AM 10/21/24 · 451K Views
    via @JackWOates
  • 10
    Erik @e_cdalton POV you're ten years old about to run a 4.4 40 9:29 PM 10/18/24 2.2M Views
    via @e_cdalton
  • 11
    Ron Iver @ronnui_ CLEANING TIP- When cleaning windows or other glass products, you can apply orange juice to particularly grimy spots. This does not work however. . 2:18 PM 10/21/24 1.2M Views 60 4.7K 70K 1.6K ↑
    via @ronnui_
  • 12
    Sameer Sewak @Naa_Cheese The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you 12:05 PM 10/21/24 1.6M Views 249 1 10K 54K ☐ 3.3K ↑
    via @Naa_Cheese
  • 13
    Shasti @sh44sti the girlies are turning into genghis khan @sonoreid. 1d the goal isn't gucci bags, it's acres of land • 11:22 AM 10/21/24 7.6M Views • 298 17 29K 271K ☐ 7.9K
    via @sh44sti
  • 14
    in the gran stephen things @stepheniscowboy look how they massacred my koi 004 NEWS BBC News (UK) @BBCNews • 10h Koi carp collector loses 25 prized fish in 'otter massacre' bbc.in/4eQociJ 3:21 AM 10/22/24 1.8M Views
    via @stepheniscowboy
  • 15
    alex zawacki @AChillGhost Follow You're British man. It's like a four hour drive. Just go find out Biscuit @PerfideAlbion • 3d what even goes on here Derry Nothern Ireland Belfast Inverness wall Aberdeen Scotland Hasgow Edinburgh Newcastle Carlisle York Douglas Leeds Liverpool Holyhead Wales Manchester England Nottingham Birmingham Norwich
    via @AChillGhost
  • 16
    Khadija @Khadijakashif6 when everybody sees you walk in and they say "oh thank god you're here" SANA @apki_sana 1d It's nothing worse than accidentally becoming a important person at your job. 11:34 AM 10/21/24 3.1M Views 188 14K 104K ☐ 3.1K ↑
    via @Khadijakashif6
  • 17
    CROW @crowbrss when a girl is done with you she talks to you like she in HR or something 3:53 PM 10/26/24 1.1M Views . 262 173K 37K ☐ 3K ↑
    via @crowbrss
  • 18
    M!RI @whitney_jewston 57... she's literally a child Page Six @PageSix. 1d Liam Neeson, 72, admits he's ‘madly in love' with co-star Pamela Anderson, 57, after saying he's done with dating trib.al/VPbHiuJ 10:30 AM - 10/26/24 14M Views 1.8K [ 14K 342K 9.9K ↑
    via @whitney_jewston
  • 19
    Red Drummarts @redrummarts This is what JK Rowling would've named Hermoine if she was actually black Page SIX Page Six @PageSix 3d EXCLUSIVE DETAILS: Zach Bryan confirms breakup from girlfriend Brianna Chickenfry with cryptic message: 'I am not perfect' trib.al/f2uPPHw • 7:34 PM 10/24/24 2.4M Views 57 tz 2.7K 60K 1.3K ↑
    via @redrummarts
  • 20
    Terrible Maps ❤ @TerribleMaps Average number of bowel movements per week Average number of bowel movements per week 1-10 11-20 121-30 +30 8 15 7 2 32 16 7 46 14 10 175 48 45 55 7:42 AM 10/25/24 2.3M Views 1.2K 1.7K 18 10 29 18 17K 2.1K 企
    via @TerribleMaps
  • 21
    zae @itszaeok why did no one tell me to not put stickers directly on my laptop in 2020... like why did no one tell me to buy a clear laptop case omg 2:33 PM 10/23/24 24M Views 256 17 1K 9.1K 951 企
    via @itszaeok
  • 22
    trash jones @jzux when i quit my job i'm setting one last OOO message that just says "your email will never find me again" 11:14 AM 10/24/24 23K Views 9 155 866 21 21 企
    via @jzux
  • 23
    JR Smith CANT READ (bottom 0.01% of re... @JR_cant_ 55 burgers, 55 fries, 55 tacos, 55 pies, 55 cokes, 100 tater tots, 100 pizzas, 100 tenders, 100 meatballs, 100 coffees, 55 wings, 55 shakes, 55 pancakes, 55 pastas, 55 peppers and 155 taters Come back soon 12:22 PM 10/21/24 6.1M Views 222 1 16K Scan One code Tun De app belaandering F 186K ☐ 5.7K
    via @JR_cant_
  • 24
    @koi_takleefff My most millennial trait is big purchases must happen in big laptop screen Khadija @Khadijakashif6-1d booking flights on a phone is crazy. that is a laptop activity 9:59 AM 10/22/24 9.4M Views 465 17 28K 243K ☐ 6.5K ↑
    via @koi_takleefff
  • 25
    Kelly @kelly_le There's a couple behind me at Olive Garden discussing getting a divorce. From what I gather, she's mad he never takes her career seriously & he responded with "Rhonda, you paint birds. • birds." 8:46 PM 10/22/24 16M Views 1.8K 14K 341K 22K
    via @kelly_le
  • 26
    tido bling @its_tiidoo One day we're gonna have to watch an ad before we can answer the phone 8:03 AM 10/19/24 799K Views 358 19.2K 39K ☐ 963
    via @its_tiidoo
  • 27
    Very BritishProblems Jovery British How to answer a phone: 1. Stare at it until it stops ringing 2. Text "sorry, did you just call?"* *If person immediately rings again after step 2, consider blocking number 12:15 PM 12/13/19 70 12.4K 11K 44 企
    via @SoVeryBritish
  • 28
    vic ptv in 35 days!!! @vicasterology he heard people saying kamala 24 and got a little confused its okay' Pop Base @PopBase 1d Leonardo DiCaprio has endorsed Kamala Harris. 7:54 AM 10/26/24 4.5M Views 235 10K 212K ☐ 2.9K 企
    via @vicasterology
  • 29
    pj ❤ @pjayevans They're not airing my hot ones episode because I only drank the milk 12:40 PM - 10/21/24 106K Views • 7 17204 4.7K ☐ 64 ↑
    via @pjayevans
  • 30
    Tity @tmoney_presa I hate Halloween. thanos do you mean you're thick
    via @tmoney_presa
  • 31
    Bob Golen @BobGolen Sir, we've found the rebel bass! O 10:34 PM 10/25/24 5.4M Views
    via @BobGolen
  • 32
    Ron Rule @ronrule I still can't believe Aldi sells these for 25 cents. I've got 8 of them now and don't really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up. • 9:51 AM 10/27/24.5.1M Views 955 1 6.1K OLHOSI 157K 3.1K 企
    via @ronrule
  • 33
    RDU RD-Boo Airport @RDUAirport "We will call it Raleigh-Durham International Airport." Named for the city of Raleigh-Durham, sir? "It's actually two different cities." And which one will the airport be in? "Morrisville." Saturday Night Live - SNL 10:28 AM 10/27/24 308K Views
    via @RDUAirport
  • 34
    horse dentist @equine_dentist found the opposite of a sugar daddy Patient has an insulin pimp • 9:39 PM 10/27/24 312K Views 19 1.1K 14K ☐ 473 ↑
    via @equine_dentist
  • 35
    james hawkins → @james406 PARENTS: please check your kid's candy this halloween - i just found a 12-month enterprise salesforce contract for 15 seats with auto- renewal and a $50,000 early breakup fee inside this snickers bar salesforce 10:00 AM 10/28/24 979K Views 91 1.4K 18K ☐ 1.1K 企
    via @james406
  • 36
    the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing love to see a Pokémon fully evolve like this 11 IcyVert @IcyVert. 17h I'm laughing uncontrollably at this sh 8:52 AM 10/29/24 2.4M Views 92 3.4K 67K 1.4K ↑
    via @lukeisamazing

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